Spoiler: Conservatives, click here "Yes, I drive a big gas-guzzling truck. No, no, no, it's not to compensate for my micropenis, or because I actually need it, it's just to troll liberals epic style." "This giant vehicle somehow proves that I am more patriotic than you, even though it does more damage to our country's natural resources and infrastructure than the average citizen's car." "Only a Communist would drive anything smaller! Of course, some of the former Soviet Union's best-known offroad trucks absolutely dwarf this thing in both size and capability, but those truths (like many, or even most) are inconvenient to my world view, so I choose to ignore them." Spoiler: Liberals, click here "My car is practical, unpretentious, accessible, the opposite of elitist - I consume less; therefore, I am better than you. No, that's not elitism at all." "When I dispose of this car, the highly toxic and non-recyclable plastics and other materials will break down and recombine into even worse chemicals, which will leach into the environment and do untold long-term damage. But sure, let's ban plastic straws, even though those are recyclable. That will certainly bolster my already hyper-inflated ego be a great service to the people." "I have enough money to afford an ETK, but self-deprivation makes me feel good about myself." Spoiler: Moderates, don't think I'm not on to you too "There are good and bad drivers and cars on both sides, so I drive in the middle, somehow managing to make two contradictory viewpoints compatible. Doublethink? Why would you accuse me of such a thing?" "Watch me own the guy on the left with facts and logic. As a centrist, you would think I would also own the drivers on the right with facts and logic, but I always seem to softball them whenever I 'debate' them. Still a centrist, though." "What middle-ground fallacy?"