Baby Hospital,Childhood happy, ok, 2010-2014 losses, 2015-2017 depression, 2016-2017 physiatric facility, now neutral. Slightly physically disable with autism. Sums up my life.
Help. Help me. I only exist to fulfill a purpose I've not yet found. I hope I find it soon. Every day I wake up feeling lost.... like I'm endlessly falling into a deeper and deeper void of despair. I just don't know anymore. People try and help. But I lock up and shut out. I can type how I feel just fine, But don't know how to physically speak how I feel to a real person. There are people I miss dearly, decisions I've made I can't stand, and things I wish dearly I could relive. I want time machine to relive the last year of my life or so.
You can’t go back, you can’t change the past. What you can do is look towards the future and make good, satisfying descisions that you’re happy with. Life’s not always a pleasure cruise, and everybody has to look for the happiness that is in their life, no matter how elusive or difficult it is. What I’ve found to help: 1. Spend time with people that make you happy. They are human too and can figure out pretty damn fast how you feel if you don’t put on a mask. 2. Get good sleep, exercise, and hygeine. This makes life soooooo much better. It’s hard to be happy when you’re tired and sick all the time. 3. Plan ahead. Do something fulfilling each day, and plan out in your google/ios calendar what you want to do. As a side effect, you’ll become more productive. Life’s rough sometimes, but it’s deliriously fantastic at other times. Spring’s coming soon, and you’ve got a sweet new Mustang with gas in the tank. Have some safe fun. Maybe go out on a couple dates. Do things that make you and others happy. Also, try to hone in your jokes and humor. Making people laugh is one of the most enjoyable things ever, period. Crack a couple of jokes and see how it goes. Life has suffering in it. You just need to do things that make the suffering worth it. Don’t turn to drugs or alcohol, though. I would highly reccomend “12 Rules for Life” by Jordan Peterson. I think you might benefit from it.
A huge gaping hole in the hoover dam patched up with flextape... water=me having a breakdown flextape=memes hoover dam=what little sanity i have left.. I only live for some moments in my life, but those moments are just about good enough to not think about ending it all with any seriousness sure i have shit days every now and then, but some good ones too.., i would really love to live life, but with a better body (like not having a face invaded with acne, can fix the other stuff i don't like with my body by going to gym, but i kind of am comfortable now.. also wish i didn't get depressed over the fact that i'm depressed (literally a cycle, idk why)).. but you only get one shot at life..
...Everyone here would call me many bad names and wish to ban me instantly if I even tried explaining...so in a nutshell, a young furry that's dealing with a ton of shit.
My life is summed up like this. I have anxiety, depression, and autism. I get in intense verbal fights with people. People think it’s funny when I get angry so they intentionally try to irk me. But I do have some good things about me as well... I am very intelligent. I know a lot about cars and already have a job offer. I have a caring family. So yeah, that’s me.
born I don't remember my childhood finished shool went to college , became a fully qualified mechanic finished college , was a bit of a gamer nerd for a while , ran out of money now working in accident repair have 5k debt to the tool man never had a GF wanting to move to japan
-Born -Never had stable home, still dont, ever year a new place to live -had friends, grew apart, no longer see any of them, now do not want to see one particular person -have very little emotional attachment to parents, mum was always studying for something, promised to do something with me, never happened. dad was always sleeping and a very angry temperamental person, regrets having kids, super depressed, lazy as hell, alcoholic, and still sleeps all day, even when he is supposed to look after my little sisters. -Have large attachment to friends, rely on them to much and "latch on" to them for a lack of better words to the point of them being annoyed at me -People complain or take it personally when their doo parent split up, never understood why, my parents were never together -All immediate parents are all angry and/or provoked easily, i hate it when people are like this, very much a mellow person now and see no point in getting aggravated -Mostly completely apathetic a lot of the time, however i sometimes do show hooman emotions -Find little reason to wake up in the morning, drive boring car, have boring low paying jobs, still living with parents, dread when they come back from whatever errand they have rarely do -like being alone, but sometimes i want some hooman contact, people take my introvert-ism as a sign of anti socialness and keep away when i feel like conversation -Dont even know why i bother to work three jobs, currently looking for a fourth, still making a pittance, now have two cars to pay for, need a shed built the special one so its not in the open element -living in the country, isolating to the max, dont like all these other young country people, for starters they dont even go out so i never see them when in one of the two towns, plus their hicks with no aspirations other than "seeing that they start a big family and live in a big farm" and all the other usual crap. t-he area i live is where retirees live, the only time one see other young city people about is on the holidays, even then they just put me in the "country hick" catagory so they dont talk much or just talk down the me -Left school due to failing, sad because (also moved to many different high schools) this final place i really liked, felt good there and was even accepted as one of them, and for the first time in 4 years even had almost a gf -im super full of my self for some reason, also self centered and selfish, never raised like according to every one. Possibly due to spending much time with my pop when my mum was again studying, he is very much like this -Dont have many childhood of happy moments with parents, memories of every one else though -seems to have taken on a bit ocd if that even possible Welp thats my life currently, no point in bitching and moaning about it (even though this is doing that somewhat) because that wont do anything, just get up, go to work, and go to sleep, and is life, i will complain about though: Im devastated that there are no classic rock n roll radio stations at all here, or even any radio stations all
