Middle of the night. A couple is woken up from their sleep by the doorbell ringing. The husband goes to the door, opens it and finds a man outside, who says, "I'm sorry, but I really need a push". The homeowner replies, "Sorry, I want to sleep", and goes back to the bed. Upon finding out what the stranger asked for, the wife becomes angry, saying: "How could you do that? Remember when our car broke down deep in the countryside and some guy helped us push it to the closest garage during pouring rain? You must go and help that poor dude!". The man goes back to the door, but finds nobody there, so he yells into the darkness: "Hey, dude, I'll give you a push! Where are you?". A happy voice answers: "Over here at the playground, sitting on the swing!".
A kid is buying a toy car and gives the cashier a hand-drawn bill. The cashier says, "Boy, that's not a real bill!". The boy replies, "But that's not a real car!"
A trucker calls his boss and asks: -I just ran a pig over, what now? The boss asks him: - Dead? - Dead. - Truck's OK? - OK. - So bury it and drive away. Then the trucker disconnects, and later calls again. The boss asks him: - You buried it? - Yes, but I don't know what to do with the cop car.
A man walks into the doctor's office, waiting for his diagnosis. -Doctor, is the diagnosis ready? I'm dying from curiosity! The doctor replies: -Not only from curiosity, Gerald...
A man picks up a hitchhiker. After a few minutes the hitchhiker says “I’m surprised you picked me up, how do you know I’m not a serial killer?” The man replies “the chances of two serial killers in this car is astronomical.”
An old man was driving home from work when his phone rang. It was his wife, “Herman, I just heard on the news there’s a car going the wrong way on highway 401. Please be careful!” “Doris,” he said, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
